Why a Strengths-based Parenting Approach is Best w/Brandon and Annalyn Miller – Episode 49

Chris and Debbie speak with Brandon and Analyn Miller, successful business owners and the parents of seven children. They are passionate about seeing families engage a strengths-based parenting approach that unearths the uniqueness in every child and empowers positive parent-child relationships through every stage of life. Brandon is a certified strengths coach and Analyn owns and operates a division of Keller Williams Realty called the Analyn Miller Group. AND they are coauthors of the book Play to Their Strengths–the subject of conversation in this episode.

In this episode, the four will discuss:

• Their basic question: “Who am I being that my child’s eyes aren’t shining?”
• Three simple mindset shifts:
  1.  frustration to fascination
  2.  fear to love
  3.  guilt to grace
• The fears and guilts we have as parents that get in the way of making those shifts
• Specific examples with Brandon and Analyn’s children and how this has impacted them and the lives of their children today
• The five Es of this approach
• What parenting was like for them prior to this approach?
• The trigger, incident, or inflection point that had them looking for a new method?
• One simple way parents can get started

• In our conversation with Brandon and Analyn, we’ve been talking about finding and nourishing our childrens’ strengths to support them in living out their purpose in life with confidence and fulfillment.
  
  But what we know here at Go Bucket Yourself, is that so many of us adults have daily struggles doing that ourselves. Perhaps through empowering our children to focus on their strengths rather than weaknesses, we might also learn to treat ourselves with such grace. Perhaps, through learning to parent our own children in this way, we might also learn to reparent ourselves in such a way as well.
  
  Bronnie Ware says, in her book, The Top Five Regrets of Dying, that the #1 regret of the dying  is stated as: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
  
  We don’t want a life for our children that does not feel true to themselves, that’s based on what others expected of them. We also don’t want that for ourselves, do we? How can we show up as the parents, the leaders, of our children, if we don’t know how to show up for ourselves first? Is it not true that most often, children don’t do as we say, they do as we do?
  
  Analyn and Brandon inspire us to learn these skills in their book. They say:
  “You can teach children how to let go of other people’s expectations and courageously find their own path, full of adventure and fulfillment. When you do this, you can parent through the years without regret, having accomplished the goal of helping your children discover how to walk in their purpose.”
  
  Might it be a good idea to do this ourselves, if we are to expect to teach it to our children?
  
  In their book, Brandon and Analyn suggest choosing:
• Fascination over frustration
• Love over fear
• Grace over guilt
  
  We can learn and grow right along with our children if we begin shifting our treatment of ourselves and our endeavors in the same way.
  
  Just imagine, as Donald O. Clifton said, “What would happen if we studied what was right with people versus what’s wrong?”
  
  May you focus more on strengths, today, than weaknesses, friend–yours and those you’re in relationship with. May fascination, love, and grace fill much more of your days than frustration, fear, and guilt. In doing so, may you begin to find and build a confidence in yourself that allows you to discover and carry out your true purpose, finding with it, an enthusiasm for your days so great that it can’t help spilling over onto those around you.
  
  As always, much love to you, today and every day!